“For what I’ve done, there is no excuse”

by spmmps on Octobre 21, 2016 - 4:41pm

I have been researching into the lives of serial killers, more specifically their childhoods, to see if there are any similarities in their lives. My objective is to see if any events in adolescence or possibly their childhood environment has affect on their adulthood lives and impulse to kill. Within my research, I have found that there are definite similarities. It is essential in my research to look at not only their childhoods but the period of time, in adulthood, that they killed. There are more often than not, behaviors/actions of the at the time children that translate into the murders they commit.

I watched the documentary  “The Jeffrey Dahmer Files”, that talks about how Dahmer was found out to have killed multiple young men, dismembered and even ate some of them. It includes reenactments of his interactions with people, also interviews with the main detective (that spent many hours interviewing him) and his neighbor, along with actual video footage of his court cases. The purpose of this documentary is to display the details of Jeffrey Dahmer’s life  during the time he was killing, whilst giving a look into his thoughts and mindset. It is more revealing in terms of his own view of his capture and his crimes, than any other source I have seen so far.

He discusses how Jeffrey was drunk when taken into custody and attributed himself being caught to his drunkenness saying, “I can’t believe this has happened. I can’t believe I got caught.” The detective describes his house, full of boxes, full of dismembered body parts (hands, male genitalia, etc.). He had human skulls that he had painted silver. The fridge holding nothing but a human head and condiments. He had eaten, dismembered body parts lying around. The detective tells this horrifying account and relaying that Jeffrey had just wanted to create someone he didn’t have to go out and kill. More specifically, a “sex zombie”. The documentary also shows the aftermath and effect of his murders among the community. His next door neighbor helps to give insight to that. She also discusses her relationship with Jeffrey, how he had made her sandwiches (which she speculates were made of human meat) and given her his couch. To this woman, he did not seem suspicious, conniving or by any means, a murderer.  

This documentary gave me a very eerie feeling, it was scary to watch, especially alone at home. The documentary revealed the sick and twisted things Dahmer had done. It was especially creepy to watch because it showed just how emotionless he seemed. He seemed in a daze, blank and just not all there. It almost seemed like he was in an alternate universe. Although, he was aware of his murders. He confessed to the detective, “For what I have done, there is no excuse”. I really wonder about the conflict that is presented here. He appeared spaced out but once caught, he was completely aware of what he had done. He knew there was no excuse for his crimes. So, he knew what he had done was wrong. I wonder if he was consciously aware of that wrongness during his crimes or he had entered some sort of alternate psychological state while killing.  

As I was watching the documentary, I was reminded of my research I had previously done on Jeffrey Dahmer. My initial reaction was to go right back to my previous research. In the documentary, the detective reveals many aspects of Jeffrey’s present life that coincide with his youth. He did not have the easiest childhood or the most loving, caring parents. Jeffrey began drinking at a very young age, bringing alcohol to school, claiming it was his “medicine”. Jeffrey used to collect dead animals, dismember them and store them in jars. Then, he would try to piece them back together.  In his adult life, he did the same thing but with human bodies. This only leads me to believe that there is a definite connection between childhood environmental factors and behavior contributes to behavior of serial killers as adults. There is more often than not, a connection between their feelings, relationships and actions from childhood to adulthood. This documentary was a great addition to my research of serial killers.


The Jeffrey Dahmer Files (2013)