Out-Dated

by Ckay1 on September 18, 2013 - 2:53pm

“If your objective in dating is hooking up, and you see marriage as some separate process, then it is not dating that is a mess.” (Puterbaugh, 1) This is basically how today’s society is. The meaning behind dating, and loving someone has completely changed. Dating used to be for long-term purposes, and for potential marriage. Now it is just for meaningless sex and as the article puts it “individuals who are ‘hooking up’ and using one another as recreational devices rather than as people.” (Puterbaugh 1) This is the sad reality for majority of young individuals in today’s modern society.
By no means am I saying that people date with the idea in mind of potential marriage, but at the same time the quality of relationships, hooking or dating, has gone down hill. People say they are in a relationship with someone because they love them, or want someone to have fun with; almost like having a best friend. But that is not what the point of exclusive dating relationships is for. But that is what society makes it out to be.
We have this notion that if you are not having sex with your partner by at least the first few months, that you do not love each other. That is WRONG! Society makes everyone think that in order to love someone you have to being having sex 24/7 or it’s not an official relationship. The media really enjoys playing up “dating” and relationships to something that they really aren’t.
It is sad that dating has come to this point in today’s society. Hopefully one day people will realize what is happening and change their ways, but for now we have to suffer through a time of confusion in most people’s mind.

Magazine Article

Puterbaugh, D. 2010, November. Dating Has Become Outdated. USA Today, 57.

Comments

I agree with the statement about the fast pace of dating. The idea that dating has become more of a social factor than an actual relationship between two people is disheartening. However, I d not see any ample solutions that could improve the situation, I am curious of there were any ideas on how to move past this issue? Or is it simply a "fad" that we all have to accept and live through? Again, a very interesting look into the aspects of dating in today's society.

I am also writing about modern dating, mostly online, and your post piqued my interest. It is wonderful that you acknowledge that there are people who would disagree with you on the subject of whether dating has become more sexually driven. However, I don’t understand what you pulled from the article with the exception of the quotes you use. What evidence does the author of the article provide? Is it just their opinion or do they have statistics to back it up? I do agree with you though on the societal view of dating focusing primarily on intercourse. It is pretty difficult to find a standing relationship when you’re abstinent, I know that firsthand, but there’s still hope that dating will go back to meaning more.

The topic of sex in dating interested me because these two have become very closely tied in recent decades, and it hasn’t always been this way. “Dating for sex” is something I hear a lot about, as it is mainly focused on people of my age and slightly older. I have my own opinions on this topic, but I am interested to see how people with other viewpoints justify their way of seeing sex as related to dating.

A question asked about this topic could be “What are the causes of the disappearance of ‘true’ dating?” More and more people seem to treat relationships as something that will most likely not last, and this can be in part traced back to the entertainment industry. Much of the mainstream media in television, movies and music demonstrate dating as being merely casual encounters and sex, and that this is acceptable and even enjoyable. They rarely show any of the negative effects of this kind of behavior. People are easily influenced by what they see and hear, whether it is on TV, from their friends or on the Internet, so naturally they will go and reproduce this kind of behavior because it is what is current, acceptable and popular today.

Is using dating only as a pretext to hook up wrong?

Referring to the Merriam-Webster Thesaurus (http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/dating) to make a descriptive claim, the main purpose of dating is to find a person with whom you would want to eventually be with in the long run, maybe for the rest of your life. In other words, it is searching for someone to whom you could be committed and that would also be committed to you. The flaw in this description of dating in today’s society is that the aspect of commitment has practically disappeared. People date for sex, or for the status of having a boyfriend/girlfriend/someone to be with them when they need it. Sex shouldn’t automatically be involved in dating as it eliminates the aspect of commitment in exchange for the temporary satisfaction that many people seek to obtain through sex.

I agree with your argument that society gives us the wrong impression that sex is an absolutely necessary component of dating. In my opinion, people are often too quick to jump right into sex when they barely know the other person. This can damage a relationship that could have flourished into something beautiful, had they waited to have sex. But all too often, people build the foundation of their relationships on sex, and this usually doesn’t endure the test of time. From an ethical standpoint, some people see sex as not a necessary part of dating, but rather something for a mature relationship, maybe even for marriage. While they are dating, they can focus instead on getting to know the other person and determining if that person is someone with whom they can see themselves being with for a long time.

The article Sex is What’s Wrong With Dating (http://singledatingdiva.com/2013/06/24/sex-is-whats-wrong-with-dating/) on the blog Single Dating Diva gives several good arguments for why directly associating sex with dating is deteriorating the practice of dating itself.

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