by zippy on February 7, 2014 - 3:48pm
In Polyamory not like push for gay marriage, Cathy Young push a case against polyamory unions. Young start by remembering us how the mariage question is a hot subject right now, first the gay community won a big victory in 2013 and now other groups want to change again our views about marriage.
The author recall a recent ruling by a judge of Utah where he struck down part of the state’s ban on polygamy which was in place since 1895 for being partly unconstitutional. This case was an example of a traditional form of polygamy with one man and his 4 “sister wives”.
However, the author point out that many communities around the USA and Canada accept more permissive form of polyamory (many husband/wives as long as everyone is consentant), she point out to an article (My Two Husbands) on salon.com where a woman live with her husband and a boyfriend according to the article it was a “liberating” experience for her husband but Young express doubts about it.
For Young what seems to be certain is polyamorist groups are surfing on the wave of the same-sex rights movement in order to gain more recognition. But she found the two situations to be widely different. In her point of view, allowing gay-marriage is not something going to revolutionaries society. She does not imagine that it will affect most current marriages while she imagine that if polyamory was accepted it could have disruptive effects with some partners wanting to change theirs marriage contract to allow multiple partners.
Young then cast doubts on how consenting the partners are in such relationships. For her if polyamory becomes more accepted in society it will become increasingly difficult, by fear to being stigmatized, for people looking for a monogamous relationship to hold ground.
She conclude by highlighting that in a free society polyamory should not be criminalized but that is not a sufficient reason to swipe away our stigma.
In my opinion, polyamory and specially polygamy has being practiced for thousand of years and is currently widely accepted by more than half of the world population. This situation make it more difficult to refuse polyamory, specially in country like Canada where same-sex marriage (a type of marriage historically and worldly widely less accepted) are legalized and where large communities already practices it in secret like notably in British Columbia.
But despite that I think we should specially into account the best interest of the children coming out of such unions. Right now many of them live in fear, they present their brothers and sisters as cousins to avoid the questions at school, they are ostracized by society, etc… Those women and their kids often have less rights and privileges than married or monoparental mothers making it even more difficult for them if they ever want to leave their situation. If they do try they have to face it whiteout help.
In conclusion, I will always remember Jean. Jean is a sweet student I met in France, he grew up in a polygamist family back to his home country the Senegal. He would always recall experiences from his mothers or his numerous brothers and sisters (His father had three wives and over twenty children). In Senegal polyandry is not a tabou and Jean grew up like it was something normal and whiteout complex. Could the kids from polyamorist family here in North America could say the same thing?
Young, Cathy. "Polyamory Not Like Push for Gay Marriage." Winnipeg Free Press. Jan 16 2014. ProQuest. Web. 6 Feb. 2014.