No money, no life?

by NicolasLéopold on February 22, 2013 - 9:19am

I chose business administration because I couldn’t find something else I would like better. I don’t intent to create my own company, but I sure would like to help others with theirs. I like this program because it helps me understand the “Wall Street way”. There’s so much domain where I can apply what I’ve learned. It goes from doing some lame paperwork to managing a zoo.  Eventually, everything leads to money. Economy is everywhere. If you need to eat, if you want to protect the environment of if you’re for free education, money is required. In this program I’ve learn things I never knew could exist. Business administration is very large. Everybody can find “shoes to their feet”1. There are so many opportunities with this program. Eventually the businesses who are the best managed are the ones who will survive. It’s an everyday war. Too many people have some great ideas that they can’t put to application. We can take for example Dragon’s dent. Some teams are well prepared and some are not because they can’t organise themselves.  I don’t want it to happen to me. In some ways, life is like your personal enterprise: by knowing how to manage it well, you put the chances of success on your side. Some people will fail, some won’t. Why not live life to the foulest.

1: My gym teacher

Comments

I had to read my text again and again because the sentences were not well constructed. Some words, like opportunities, were hard to spell so I used the spell-check. The writing tutors help me a little. It gave me the same comments as last time, saying that my sentences were a little weird.
virtualwrittingtutor:
You wrote: ...something else I'd like better. I don't intent to create my own company, but I sure wo...

Feedback:It looks like you have used a noun where you probably where a verb is needed. Revise. ''

Hi Nicolas,

I guess if the correctors missed them, I should give you the feedback. I don’t want to give you a lot of rules that you won’t retain so I’ll make three corrections:

  1. ‘The Wall Street way’ seems to be coming from French. Why not just say – I like this program because it helps me understand Wall Street.
  2. Because you can count them, you have many domains and not much domains. In English, we tend to use the word ‘field’ instead of domain, although it does exist.
  3. There is only one ‘economy’ so take your choice – The economy (a specific thing) is everywhere –or- Economics (a general concept) is everywhere.

See you tomorrow

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