What Gay Marriage Can Teach You

by afros1 on February 23, 2014 - 7:24pm

       It is no revelation that the divorce rate in the United States is relatively high compared to other countries. The question many Americans are asking is, “why”? The answer to this is not quite understood, with each couple being unique from one another, but the solution may lie with gay and lesbian unions. Many conservatives argue that gay marriage will erode marital norms and disrupt the already fragile link between children and marriage. Studies, however, have shown that same-sex marriages are actually more stable and geared toward equality than heterosexual marriages. Studies conducted by Pepper Schwartz, Philip Blumstein, Charlotte J. Patterson, Esther Rothblum, and others have shown positive results in gay and lesbian in constructive marriages and their roles in child rearing (Mundy, 2013, p. 60-61). According to Rothblum’s studies, heterosexual couples were more likely to divide domestic duties by traditional gender lines than homosexual couples. Three years latter, Rothblum found that homosexual marriages were also at a higher satisfactory rate than heterosexual marriages and were less likely to engage in hostile arguments. Patterson’s work showed that both heterosexual and homosexual partners interacted with their children in very nurturing ways, but homosexuals were more willing to interact with their partners and share the experience than heterosexual couples.

      Liza Mundy is not trying to persuade the reader that gay marriage is the answer to solving the marriage crisis, but is trying to illuminate to the fact that it isn’t its biggest nemesis. She accepts the fact that the traditional structure of marriage is changing and in order for future traditional marriages to be operational, our society should look at the nontraditional forms that are showing a higher rate of success. Mundy provides several detailed studies and sources that support her hypothesis of gay marriage being able to help the way marriage is seen in our society. Though her topic changed from the high rates of divorce and unwed pregnancies in America to gay marriage being a possible positive influence on our culture (which became confusing at some points), her article was well thought out and organized. After reading the article, I was thoroughly convinced that gay and lesbian marriage could be the answer the high rates of divorce and unsatisfactory marriages in America.

 

Mundy, L. (2013, June). The gay guide to wedding bliss. Atlantic Monthly, 311(5), 56-70.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/06/the-gay-guide-to-wed...

Comments

I strongly agree with your post and it was very informative. This post caught my eye because I have a gay sister myself. So I became very interested as to what the article said and your own opinions on it. Having known my sister to be gay for quite some time now, I see her and her partner very close and happy. They are on their way to being married, and have a child together who is 6 months old. They are very close and stable like Mundy stated in her article. Based off of my personal experiences witnessing how my sister acts as a partner in a homosexual relationship, that is the reason behind why I agree with your post and Mundy’s article.
Based on my own opinion, I believe that homosexual relationships are much stronger than heterosexual relationships. They are more understanding of each other, and personally know what each one is going through. The tough times of being gay in a very heterosexual society, being looked at differently, and always thinking that it is a bad thing. Having someone in the same boat as you in a relationship really strengthens the bond. Also, most heterosexual relationships have imaginary guidelines that homosexuals wouldn't have that cause problems. Like males being dominant over the females, males making more money, female’s primary goal is nurturing the children. In homosexual’s relationships, there is no space for competition or deciding which partner should be making more money or doing more cooking. They are equal, and those types of differences (that often lead to arguments/divorce) don't matter. That is just a bit on why I agree and my beliefs behind homosexual relationships being stronger.

While the divorce rate in the U.S. has increased in the recent history, I don’t agree with the conclusion drawn from the article that homosexual couples that marry have a better chance of staying together than heterosexual couples. The National Fatherhood Initiative (n.d.) conducted a survey about the main reasons couples got divorced. The top answers were infidelity, too much arguing, marrying too young and abuse. These are problems that aren’t exclusive to heterosexual couples. Making a marriage work isn’t dependent on gender or sexual preference. It’s about two people who love and care for each other so much that they want to spend their lives together and face life’s problems together.

Works Cited
National Fatherhood Initiative. (n.d.). The 8 most common reasons for divorce. Retrieved February 2014, from MSN Living: http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/the-8-most-common-reasons-for-d...

I appreciate this topic a lot, and I think that you brought up very good points. You are very correct that divorce rates are higher here in the US than in most other countries. In my Sociology of Families lecture last semester, we talked a lot about how homosexual and heterosexual families do not differ in many ways, and neither does the upbringing of children in these families. We also talked about what might be a large underlying cause of divorce rates. Fiscal matters were a very high priority and reasons behind many, if not most, divorces. This article (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3293163/) points out many different correlations with divorce such as socioeconomic status and educational attainment and uncludes graphical representations which I thought were interesting. My best friend back home has been in a homosexual relationship with her girlfriend for a few years while we each watch friends and families' heterosexual marriages fall apart because being in a good relationship has a lot more to do with things that aren't tangible or so superficial biological sex.
I definitely agree with the author of the article you referenced to as well because there are a lot more things that are “threatening the sanctity of marriage,” in my opinion. I feel as though a heterosexual who is allowed to get married, commit adultery, get divorced, get married for 72 days, get divorced, ad infinitum is ruining this “sanctity” much more than homosexual couples who have been together for over a decade but aren’t legally permitted to wed. It is unfair to decide what other people can and cannot do—especially when it does affect others. I also believe that the depiction of women in the media might have a helping hand in the way marriage is portrayed in this era. The main example that comes to mind for me is Hugh Hefner dating and marrying the women that he does. That’s a prime example of what looks like marrying for looks and money. Of course, I don’t know the dynamics of his relationships, and it does not directly affect me. However, I do know that he has several girlfriends at a time which may portray a different idea of what love and relationships are for younger viewers. Again, I do not know what goes on in his relationships and marriages and am not judging such a lifestyle. I am simply saying that marriages such a Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage, and Hugh Hefner and his girlfriends during marriage are likely portraying a false idea of what marriage is historically supposed to represent more so than homosexual relationships ever will.

I agree with this post because in many ways Gay marriage has changed society and shaped it to believe many different things. Personally I believe that no matter who you are and what your sexual orientation may be that you have the right to express your love towards anyone no matter what gender. There is no reason that someone shouldn't be able to show their love just because society sees it as morally wrong or "disgusting". Everyone has their right to express love in any manner they see fit and to whoever they choose.

With gay and lesbian marriage becoming more and more of a heated topic in this country, your post really caught my eye. While reading your post, you brought up a lot of great points. I completely agree with the idea that homosexual relationships and unions can be more stable and less negative. I like how you addressed the problem of dividing the “domestic duties.” Having a lesbian cousin, I see how this nontraditional relationship can thrive due to mutual respect, trust, and love. I look at her and her partner and I see less hostility due to gender roles, which allows them to open up more to love. I believe that everyone has the right to love whomever they choose; however, I also believe that if people are choosing to get married, it should be for the right reasons. You made a lot of valid points, and although looking at homosexual relationships may teach people how to act in a relationship, I believe that marital success comes from within people. It must be a relationship between two people who are willing to try and fight for the success of their relationship and their love. Although homosexual relationships seem to have many more ups than heterosexual, I don't think looking at them will solve all relationship problems - that part is up to the individual couples.

What gay marriage can teach you
Afros1
Introduction to Sociology
February 23, 2014
This post made me think of this issue being present but progress has been made to accepting gay marriage. I have family members and friends who have gain the confidence to say they are attractive to the same sex and not feel ashamed when others turn their back on them. The experiences that I have endured have become long life lessons for many kinds of related aspects in society. For instance, when I was a witness to bullying toward another for being unique and not understood, I spoke up, instead of letting it occur. Everyone has their own preferences, which mean no one should be punished for no having common taste. I have the best relationships or time spent with gays and lesbians. I don’t understand why it makes such a big difference. They seem overjoyed with this decision and spread the love.
I believe love can come in many forms and people can enjoy life with their happiness from certain aspects. It is easy to agree with divorce being high because people aren't doing what makes them happy in relationships. Individuals do what is mostly expected from society, family, and friends. From religion and society not wanting gay marriage be acceptable in our own country is straight out wrong. This post took my interest because I could relate to the topic. Gays and lesbians’ marriages could make a difference not only in one aspect of society.

I strongly agree with the Article what gay marriage can teach you. I find that this article is very eye – opening and can make readers realize that Homosexuals aren’t the problem. The article informs us that Homosexuals who get married tend to seperate less than Heterosexual couples do. The article lets readers know that Gay marriage isn’t a taboo thing and that there isn’t anything wrong. I strongly agree too. Like the author says, for couples to stop getting divorces, they shouldn’t all go in a gay relationship. So I strongly agree with the author that Gay marriage can teach us many things.

I agree with your response. I think that gay marriages should be legalized everywhere. If someone loves someone else and they want to spend the rest of their lives with that person they have a right to no matter what sexual orientation they are. I think that it is sad to see that in this day and age, we are still afraid of same sex marriages!

Your post was well written & easy to read, good job! I completely agree with your opinion and hope to see more countries around the world accept gay marriage as a normal thing. It is true that education will lead the way for acceptance in regards to this topic, the more we can learn & then teach people the better. Here in Quebec gay marriage is accepted for the most part, and the newer generations are supporting other countries where gay marriage may not be tolerated as lightly. For example, here's a small write up on demonstrations that took place to support the LGBT community in France: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/canadians-rally-in-support-of-fra...