Did Women Cause The Death Of Chivalry?

by Victorious on September 15, 2014 - 9:07pm

     There’s an article on Elite Daily called “Why Chivalry Is Dead, From a Man’s Perspective” by John Picciuto (http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/why-chivalry-is-dead-from-a-mans-perspective/ ) which is about his ideas on why chivalry is dead. In summary, to Picciuto chivalry is gone, men no longer take women out on fancy dates with deep conversations but more like to bars with small talk. Picciuto also says that men are no longer treating women the way they were brought up to.  He goes on to say and I quote “women, for one reason or another, have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum” and I completely agree.
 

      I’m going to say that the reason why women aloud men to lack with chivalrous acts is because they want equality and equality means to be treated the same. Is it right of me to say that I want equality and chivalry? Chivalry is dead because women have aloud it and most men have stopped doing these things because women feel it is as if to say women are the weaker soul. Chivalry towards women does not mean they are weak; they’re basic acts of kindness, gestures of affection and are definitely needed to pursue relationships. If women could just see that these little acts of kindness aren’t there to belittle them but are there to make them feel nice then maybe the divorce rate would decrease and maybe there wouldn’t be such a confusion with equality and just plain being nice.  I don’t want to go bars for small talk; I want a 3 course meal with meaningful conversation and I want they guys to open the door for me all the while, I want the same salary, I want the same opportunities but with just a little bit of appreciation.  Women need to allow men to show kindness with chivalry and that’s all there is to it. Chivalry will be back in no time if we change our ideas on it.

Comments

First of all I find your argument very well written and you also have good real-life examples. I agree with the fact that you say that "chivalry is dead" but i think it is a good thing because "chivalry" in a way, emphasizes stereotypes in gender roles. When thinking of chivalry, I think of the medieval ages where men had to win tournaments to please a lady, well today, with feminism and women wanting to be equal to men, I feel that both men and women have to "win a tournament" to please the other. I think that kindness should go both ways, because women want to be independent, they should not rely on men to do everything for them. Kindness should be voluntary, it should not be enforced by the "rules of chivalry". Men deserve to be treated the same as women; it does not mean that if you are a women, you don't have to hold the door for a man, holding a door is an act of kindness, and men deserve kindness just as much as we do. I think that you contradict yourself by wanting equality and chivalry. Chivalry goes back to gender stereotypes while kindness is just the act of being nice. Everyone, no matter their sex should be kind. Here is a website who can be helpful into making the distinction between chivalry and kindness as well as understanding gender equality. Link: http://www.hercampus.com/school/bucknell/coexistence-chivalry-and-feminism

Right off the bat, I agree that chivalry is dead. However, I cannot say it is just the fault of the women. I would stipulate that a large part of it is, but the young men and boys of today's society do not help the situation. They are lazy and expect women to fall for them without any effort. Sadly, when this imbecilic belief is not met, many of the boys degrade the women or label them as being stuck up and only into 'bad boys'. Women on the other hand do not help by complaining about the inequality of genders when a man offers her a hand when stepping out of the car, or opening the door. They depict themselves as being ungrateful and don't give men a reason to be chivalrous. As someone who at least offers an open door to a woman walking by, or a seat on the bus or metro, i find it its upsetting that as opposed to a thank you or genuine appreciation, courteous men are labeled as flirts, or desperate and have all their manners written off as a form to pick up women. Some of us still have the mind to be chivalrous. We have not completely disappeared.