Life of a childfree woman

by Hyorina on September 15, 2016 - 9:01am

Over the last century, many women's rights came real under the activism of feminism. We can now vote, work, not being obligated to marry and have children. Having children is a dream for many people. But there are people who see it as a nightmare, men and women. For a man saying he doesn't want to be a father, it will be easier to escape people's judgements.  A woman who rejects motherhood will get a bad time in this society who sees family as an achievement, something you have to do because someone gave birth to you. I always knew children wasn't my forte. When I was as young as 10 years old, I always said I'll have a great job and travel the world. Today, still at 23 years old, people (many women) say that I will change my mind, that I'm too young to choose not to be a mom. I always get nervous when I say I don't want kids. I don't like to have a debate on what I'll do with my body. Saying to a woman who doesn't want children that she's gonna change her mind is not cool, because it's like saying to her that she can't make decisions on her own and that you better what she needs than her. Childfree women are seen as monsters and cold persons. Many reasons can come to this decision, but we have to respect people's desire to be childfree. I know I'd be a bad mom. So why trying to convince me to give birth and make a child unhappy? Because this society thinks that womanhood is the same thing than motherhood. And people say we don't need feminism anymore? Your body, your choice !

Comments

This post recognized an important expectation which is still very relevant in today’s society. Although immense progress has been made regarding women’s rights, the social expectation to be a mother is still present. You did a thorough explanation of how this expectation has adversely impacted you personally. Your justifications for not wanting to be a mother is reasonable and should be respected. Motherhood is an immense responsibility which not everyone will desire or be prepared for. It is ridiculous that motherhood is an expectation when raising another human being is arguably one of the most time consuming and stressful experience one can have.
Although your argument is valid, it fails to raise any theories or questions. Some questions which this post made me consider were, why is motherhood used as a measure of success? Also, Why do women perpetuate this issue themselves. As you stated, motherhood is considered a measure of someone’s success in life. Women who do not bear children are viewed as depressed and lonely even if they chose that lifestyle. What is the social force driving this expectation? Asking questions like these will allow you to develop theories and support your opinion with concrete evidence. This will make your posts more credible and allow readers to understand your perspective more thoroughly.

This post recognized an important expectation which is still very relevant in today’s society. Although immense progress has been made regarding women’s rights, the social expectation to be a mother is still present. You did a thorough explanation of how this expectation has adversely impacted you personally. Your justifications for not wanting to be a mother is reasonable and should be respected. Motherhood is an immense responsibility which not everyone will desire or be prepared for. It is ridiculous that motherhood is an expectation when raising another human being is arguably one of the most time consuming and stressful experience one can have.
Although your argument is valid, it fails to raise any theories or questions. Some questions which this post made me consider were, why is motherhood used as a measure of success? Also, Why do women perpetuate this issue themselves. As you stated, motherhood is considered a measure of someone’s success in life. Women who do not bear children are viewed as depressed and lonely even if they chose that lifestyle. What is the social force driving this expectation? Asking questions like these will allow you to develop theories and support your opinion with concrete evidence. This will make your posts more credible and allow readers to understand your perspective more thoroughly.

I just read your post on how you don’t want to have kids when you grow up and realised how unfair society treats women in your type of situation. Your post opened my eyes toward a problem that I never actually bothered with and I also liked the fact that you went straight to the problem that is to be discussed in your post. I also see that you mostly use examples to prove your point, but I think if you add a gender specific term in your post, it will help you understand more about the problem and will help you find more argument to why some people just don’t want kids. I would suggest using the “mommy track”, which is a term I learned in my gender world view class. The “mommy track’’ refers to when a woman has a newly born child and must decide if she continues to peruse her job or abandoned it to take care of the child. This puts pressure on the women to choose between the two. If she chose her job people will insult her for not caring for her child and will attack her “Motherhood” a term used in your post and if she chose the opposite she will lose her career. This is why most women choose not have kids because it will affect their career. I think that this term might help your post because it somewhat relates to it and gives you a reason why some women don’t bother having children.
To conclude, I think that this article which is talking about ‘’mommy track’’ might be interesting for you:
“The mommy track”
The real reason why more women don’t rise to the top of companies”
http://www.economist.com/node/21560856

About the author